On Saturday, Chicago White Sox pitcher Philip Humber
tossed the 21st perfect game of the modern era.
It was an unexpected honor for Humber, who is Chicago's number four starter and had never even recorded a complete game with any of his four major league teams.
So exactly what does a fairly obscure big leaguer do in the immediate aftermath of a historic achievement? Here are ten things that Humber (probably) had to do after his perfect game.
1. Repeatedly correct the spelling of his name.
2. Put a fresh tank of gas in his 1994 Ford Taurus.
3. Do an interview and explain to Colin Cowherd what a perfect game is and how baseball is played.
4. Wrap up the post-game leftovers so he and his wife can have a celebratory feast.
5. Call ahead to Staples to tell them he'd be late for his night shift.
6. Thank his buddy Stevie for letting him borrow his mitt again.
7. Sell high and trade himself off of his AL-only fantasy team The Humber Dingers.
8. Send a Facebook message to his high school ex-girlfriends to say "Look who's perfect now!"
9. Check Twitter to see if Old Hoss Radbourn
had anything funny to say about him.
10. Stamp the first spot on his official MLB No-Hitter Punchcard. Five more no-hitters (and proof of purchase from a box of Frosted Flakes) and he can send away for an autographed Nolan Ryan
& Tony the Tiger mini-poster.